The Righteous Role of Parents

Question: I have a son who is now in his senior year of high school. During his freshman and sophomore years, I pushed him very hard to achieve high grades and meet my expectations. As a result, our relationship became strained, and at one point, we didn’t speak for an entire month. However, after I began listening to Jungbub this year, I realized that I had been the one at fault. Since then, our relationship has gradually improved, and his grades have also risen to a satisfying level. Still, I find myself a little worried about his upcoming college entrance exam, his future job, and eventually his marriage. Could you please advise me on what role I should take as a mother?

Answer: You don’t need to worry about your child finding a job. By the time your son enters college, the world will already have changed. If it hasn’t, and we continue to study merely for the sake of securing better jobs, it means we haven’t evolved at all. The education system must change, and in fact, everything will begin to change: the societal systems, companies, and education itself. Our current system has long been bound by outdated common sense, and it now needs to be renewed. If you understand and accept the necessity of changing how we raise our children in today’s society, you must stop being overly strict with them. Instead, try to resolve things through conversation.

How do we do that? The purpose of conversation is to help your child develop the ability to speak and express themselves before the age of seven. During this period, parents are guiding their children in building communication skills. For example, when teaching the word “dad,” you have them repeat it again and again until it becomes natural to them. Parents lead their children 100% until the age of seven.

There is a natural law that governs the stages of growth, ages 7 to 14, and 14 to 21, based on the 3:7 principle. This is the way of Nature. When we go against it, difficulties and misfortunes arise. Children grow through three distinct stages: the first seven years, the next seven, and another seven after that. Understanding this, parents must lead their children completely, 100%, until the age of seven. From seven to fourteen, you begin to guide them through discussion, respecting their opinions about 30% of the time. Children must be raised with respect. Even when you already know the right answer, you should still listen to their thoughts and guide them, about 30% of the time, before they reach fourteen. From that point on, from age fourteen to twenty-one, you should begin respecting their opinions about 70% of the time. Start with 30% during their early years, and gradually increase it as they grow older, deepening your understanding and trust in them, gradually up to 70%. If you follow this natural order, you will be able to raise your child properly and without hardship.

If you’ve neglected your child because you didn’t know how to lead, it means you’ve failed in your parental duty. When this happens, moral confusion can appear in your children. They may not listen to your advice because, to the degree that you’ve either neglected or interfered with them, you’ve blocked their growth. Parents who try to control or dominate their children will eventually find that their children stop listening. This is a violation of their natural growth; it’s like trespassing on sacred ground. So if things go wrong, you must take responsibility. That’s why you suffer because of your child. Not knowing this principle, some parents resort to scolding, hitting, or verbally abusing their children. But none of that is behavior worthy of an awakened parent. How can you blame or strike a child when you are the one who shaped them that way? You must first look within. The knots of suffering were tied by your own mistakes, so you are the one who must untie them. If you fail to see your faults and instead blame others, hardships will follow. Grand Nature does not overlook this.

We suffer because we do not understand the Laws of Grand Nature. When we don’t know the cause of our suffering, we look for someone to blame. But Grand Nature never allows us to shift responsibility for our own mistakes onto others. You may do so if you wish, but it will only make your life harder. This is the way Nature operates. Do you know why my teaching is called Jungbub, the Righteous Law? Because it is the Law of Grand Nature itself. You don’t have to believe it now, but in time you will see that it is true. Today’s society urgently needs the right teaching.

When guiding children, parents should listen with about 70% respect until the child reaches the age of twenty-one. For a high school student, that means about 60%, and during middle school, at least 50%. By the time they are twenty-one, your respect should grow to 70%. Only then will your child feel at ease and free from tension. Show your children the respect they deserve. Instead of telling them everything you know, share your thoughts and then stop, don’t interfere further. Your child is growing up to live in the future, and adults cannot predict what that future will be like. Our children are paving their own way, and they are right to do so, because Nature always operates precisely and continuously expands. The expansion of the universe means that the quality of knowledge and energy is constantly rising. Human life follows the same universal law. When we act against this natural order, hardship appears. Life flows in harmony with the universe, maintaining balance. But when we try to force things our own way, we oppose Nature itself. When we understand and live according to the right principles, we can live joyfully and peacefully. If you couldn’t live this way before, now that these teachings are here, let’s walk this path together. Seeing others improve through these principles is proof of their truth.

Don’t rely solely on common sense. First, experience the energy of these teachings. If it doesn’t resonate, you can return to your old ways. But many people are too full of their own opinions to listen truly. They interrupt instead of absorbing. True growth begins when you listen deeply and sincerely. Listening develops your energy; interrupting stops it. When you stop, you lose the ability to find true answers. Even if you think you already know how children should behave, listen first. Take time before making judgments; another perspective may open your eyes. When you accuse someone of wrongdoing, that is only your judgment. If you listen more, your view may change, because your energy deepens through understanding. The same applies to raising children and dealing with others. Never force people to follow your way. That interferes with their path of life. If things fail because of your interference, you bear the consequences, and Grand Nature will not tolerate it.

Now, Hongikingans, those who live for the public good, are being nurtured and educated. This is the work of Grand Nature. Wrongdoings will no longer be excused. Perhaps it was overlooked a hundred years ago, but not today. We are now in the great transition from the Former Era to the New Era. The previous era was a time to prepare for the future. The previous era carries the mistakes of the past. That’s why we are being educated to take responsibility for the world. For one enlightened person to emerge, many others have sacrificed. We must never forget this. Each of us grows through the support and effort of others, which means every human life is precious. Grand Nature will not allow injustice to continue; truth will prevail. So let’s begin with our children. Listen to them. Have conversations with them. It’s not complicated, just listen enough before concluding. Take your time. Eat together, share tea, and say, “Let’s talk again after dinner.” Once you’ve reflected, the right wisdom will arise naturally. Then, over tea, you can say, “Here’s what I think. You decide for yourself.” That is how you raise a child.

We now live in the New Era. Forcing your child to live your way is wrong. If you do, you will continue to suffer until you learn the lesson. Let your child make their own decisions; that is their responsibility and their boundary. Even if their choices seem immature, let them learn from their experience. In time, everything will settle. Of course, they may make mistakes or face setbacks. But if you consistently treat them rightly, they will find the right path. Trust this. As the saying goes, “Heaven helps those who help themselves.” Without effort, good results do not come. That is what separates humans from animals. Animals live as they are; humans strive to live rightly.